hello tumblr world!
it’s been so long. i’ve tried reblogging as much as i could when i had wi fi, but there is like NO wi fi here in the Philippines. it’s rather annoying. anyway, so excited to come back home. AHHH! 8 more days <3
- friend: someone told me you look like an owl
- me: who?
- the whole class bursts into a roaring flame of laughter. tears start to fall from their eyes from laughing so hard. the principal walks in the room and slaps his knee. the local animals come in and create waves of laughter. god is laughing so hard he cant breathe. jesus starts clapping his hands and cracking up. the laughter dies down after about 2 hours, and everybody goes home with the memory of the funniest joke they've ever heard.
(Source: pleatedjeans, via lets-die-laughing)
(Source: ohhellosugar, via lets-die-laughing)
i cybered on omegle today
- You: hi
- Stranger: hey
- You: wanna cyber
- Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
- You: ya
- Stranger: And okay then, you start?
- You: i come into ur bedroom
- You: and ur sleeping
- You: and i crawl under your blanket
- Stranger: I'm still asleep
- You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
- You: and u wake up and smile
- Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
- You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
- You: cutting off your penis
- Stranger: wait
- You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
- Stranger: Then what...?
- You: I HATE YOU
- Stranger: I didn't cheat
- You: you bleed to death in your bed
- Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
- You: nobody ever knows what happened
- You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
- You: the end
- Stranger: I have a mercedes?
- You: not anymore faggot
- Your conversation partner has disconnected.
